Countdown - Tomorrow

I'm getting the jitters. It starts with fear and ends with a nostalgia that leaves my mouth dry. No quantity of liquid can satisfy it. It sits in my stomach. My eyes are too dry to cry.

Not sure what I'm going to do or how I'm going to get through it. Nervous. I got off the phone with my dad and I can't imagine putting more distance between us. Or putting that same distance between anyone of any relation to me. My friends. Dare I say it - my home?

More tomorrow.


-- Post From My iPhone

Countdown - Two Weeks

Two weeks away, and where am I?

I'm only on disc one of my German tutorial which I bought several years ago in a desperate attempt to learn. Whenever it comes up on shuffle on my iPod I always skip it. Not too good.

I'm $800 dollars away from my goal. Hopefully, I'll make it by this weekend. If not, then I'll just have to suck it up and work really hard again next week. I want to have a surplus though so I can do a little shopping before I leave.

I also need to factor in:

A) haircut
B) septum ring
C) toiletries for two and a half months
D) presents for Sascha and Katja
E) dry cleaning

Actually, that list is a lot more daunting than I thought it would be.

For the most part, though, I'm pretty ready. Mentally, anyway. My attitude when I get there is a different story. I'm just so nervous and afraid, for a lot of reasons but mostly because I've never been away from home for that long.

And I want to be productive, but I'm worried that for the first time in seven years, not working and not being in school is going to render me completely unproductive.

We'll see.

Small Moves

So right now, my life is in two places. Three, if you could Berlin. The first is in my sister's basement, the house where I used to live. The second is inside of my mother's guest bedroom, in the guise of two pieces of furniture, and a portable clothing rack where I've hung my button-ups and my coats.

It's strange, not living in the house I've lived in for two years. If I were invited in again (which I surely am and will be), I wouldn't know what to do, because none of the rooms there are mine any longer. Its strange, because every dish and every hanging piece of art is something that I've acquired, with the help of Nati, Jijad, and Kevin, but they are no longer "mine" in the sense that I no longer am renting there.

Its kind of fucked up. I'm just spending time trying to save and learn some German. Its working, I suppose. What I really should be doing is writing. I wanted to take photographs of my boxes and stuff that I've put on hold for three months, but I guess it can wait until everything is in that basement, and I am on my way to the airport for the most defining trip of my life.

Anyway, this post isn't about anything. I just wanted to check in.

Berlin - "Metro"

I was attempting to research the Berlin metro and came across this little gem of a music video. Funny where our curiosity leads us.

Note: The main "metro" line of Berlin is called the Stadtbahn.

Countdown - 1 Month

One month from today, I leave for Germany.

I'm excited. Nervous, and excited. Mostly nervous because I've never been away from home for quite this long. Excited for the same reason. However, between my move from San Francisco to Washington, DC and this vacation, I realize that I don't really know where home is or what I miss the most. I don't know what I'm supposed to miss. I'm not sure how silly I am being.

I'm thinking about packing light. I'm convinced this is the best thing, as no amount of clothing or books or preparation will be able to satisfy me for a full two and a half months. Lets keep it real - I don't have 72 pairs of underwear to bring even if I wanted to bring them.

So the countdown begins. This is my blog.

I hope you enjoy it.

PS: A "berliner" is a German-style pastry. If you know anything about me at all, you know this is the perfect name for me.